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Home » What the Bible Says About Communication in Love and Marriage
What the Bible Says About Communication in Love and Marriage

What the Bible Says About Communication in Love and Marriage

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From Song of Solomon 1:9-14

When I say that communication is at the very heart of success or failure in marriage, I’m sure I’m not telling you anything new. It’s like saying that bad weather is going to cause you some inconvenience during the year. We all know that, but what can we do about it?

We need to keep our marriages in the right Book—the one inspired by God. At the foundation of our identity as His children, we have basic needs, implanted by our Creator that can only be met by the nourishing and unconditional love of an intimate partner. That love is given and received by the medium of clear communication. Let’s look at some biblical principles for doing that right, courtesy of Solomon and Shulamith.

Be Personal With Your Praise

You simply can’t show your love without using the principle of praise. When we are in love we say, “Let me count the ways.” It’s right here in The Song: the power of magnifying all that is good in your loved one. In the ninth and tenth verses of Chapter 1, we learn to get personal when it comes to praising someone. We also receive a few practical tips on how to do it.

In the previous chapter I’m sure you noticed that we had yet to hear from Solomon himself. Now he speaks. At the beginning of this section, he brings us from the countryside to the palace. You will also recall Shulamith’s insecurity about her physical appearance, particularly as measured against the fair-skinned women of the city.

We learn that Solomon is sensitive to her doubts and fears. How does he confront them? By building her up with genuine, heartfelt praise and encouragement.

Meme: Solomon is sensitive to her doubts and fears

Go Public With Your Praise

Now it gets a little more difficult—but hang in there.

Have you ever seen that guy at the office who is surrounded by coworkers when his wife calls on the phone—the guy who at the end of the conversation says, “Me, too”? It’s obvious that his wife has just said, “I love you,” and he has replied with a shorthand substitute: “Me, too.” He may actually say “I love you” at home, but he’s not quite secure enough to say it in front of the guys in the office.

Yet here’s the next principle we learn from The Song. Go public! Put it out there. In the eleventh verse, Solomon continues, “We will make you ornaments of gold with studs of silver.” Note the change in pronouns from verse nine (“I”) to verse eleven (“we”). Solomon has gone public with his love; he is involving other people (“we”) in professing his love for Shulamith through the creation of gifts of gold and silver.

Need I tell you that the opposite approach can be devastating? Make it a steadfast rule never to air out a grievance about your spouse in the presence of others—no matter how slight. I’ve seen the pain too many times in my work as a pastor. On one occasion, Donna and I were on our way to a capital campaign to raise money for a building project. This was a formal dinner at a country club in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and our church leaders and committee members were present. After a fine dinner, we were standing around talking when one of the wives approached us. She said to her husband, “We have a babysitter. We need to leave pretty soon.” Her husband turned around and replied, for everyone to hear: “Well, if you want to go home, why don’t you just walk?”

It was as if someone had let the air out of the room. Everyone was shocked, and I can tell you that after thirty years, I can still see it and hear it vividly in my memory—particularly the injured expression on the woman’s face. Nothing will destroy a marriage more quickly than public insult. If there’s an issue, you need to attend to it. But do it in the privacy of your home. In public, only loving support is appropriate.

Be Passionate With Your Praise

We need to be personal and public, but we must also be passionate. That’s the carbonation that puts the “fizz” in the cola. There is, “I love you,” and then there is, “I love you!” The italics and the exclamation mark may be invisible in conversation, but we recognize the difference in how the words are said. One spouse says it with real meaning, the other bats the words back where they came from with no discernible emotion. Sometimes it’s worse to say “I love you” the wrong way, than not to say it at all.

In our biblical passage, Solomon has been speaking words of love to Shulamith. But now the speaker changes again; Shulamith begins to address praises to Solomon. The effect is something like a contest in which the two try to “outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10, English Standard Version). It’s a nice idea, isn’t it? Solomon has spoken his love, and Shulamith tries to top him.


Nearly every couple develops a private love vocabulary.

Shortly after Donna and I were married, we went off to seminary where I began studying the biblical Greek language. One day I came home and told Donna that I loved her—using koiné Greek, the biblical language which all New Testament students learn. Fascinated, Donna immediately wanted to learn how to say it herself. I had fun teaching her to pronounce the phrase. And to this very day, the koiné Greek words for “I love you” are special and personal for us. It’s an ancient language that isn’t used in any culture, but it’s very active in the culture of our home. It’s fun to be able to say something to each other that is “our little secret,” so that no one around us understands. Even our kids never caught on! I hope you have a special language in your marriage.

Let’s discover how Shulamith shows her passion.

Passionate About His Dignity

Be forewarned: In this section, when we use the word passionate, we mean it. A biblical display of affection follows.

Verse 12 reads, “While the king is at his table, my spikenard sends forth its fragrance.” The word spikenard doesn’t quite carry the music of poetry, does it? Nor does it sound like a name we would assign to a perfume. Yet in the Bible, this is the name of a very precious fragrance. Shulamith will describe her love for Solomon by referring to three different kinds of perfume.

Spikenard is derived from a plant native to the Himalayan region of India and grown between 11,000- and 17,000-feet above sea level. In ancient times, only the very rich could afford it. For one thing, it couldn’t exactly be grown in one’s backyard—the conditions had to be just so. Even today, spikenard is available and costly, pungent with its warm, earthy aroma.1 A little of it goes a long way, or so I’m told. You might recall the Gospel story of Mary of Bethany, who poured an alabaster container of spikenard perfume on Jesus in an act of extravagant worship. The Bible tells us that the fragrance quickly permeated the house (Luke 7:36-50). Back in the Old Testament, a dab of the scent on Shulamith would be certain to attract Solomon’s attention, even as he presided at a royal banquet table spread with rich-smelling culinary delights.

Shulamith is passionate about her man’s dignity. Royalty deserves royal fragrance, and the aroma of spikenard sends that message.

Passionate About His Devotion

Shulamith says, “A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me, that lies all night between my breasts” (verse 13). Not only is Shulamith passionate about his dignity, but also his devotion. She feels the love of Solomon like a sachet of myrrh resting between her breasts.

And now for a word about myrrh, that strange substance we hear about at Christmas time—a gift to the Christ child from the wise men who followed the star. (See Matthew 2:11.) Myrrh is a resinous gum gathered from a species of South Arabian trees. As a liquid, it was carried in small bottles like a perfume. But it could also be found in solid form, in which case it might be carried in a small pouch or sachet worn about a woman’s neck. The myrrh would be mixed with a bit of fat that would melt from the heat of the sun releasing the fragrance of resin to fill the room.2 It tasted bitter, but it smelled rich and lovely. Worth its weight in gold, this was to be the primary ingredient in the anointing oil that God directed Moses to prepare in Exodus 30:23-33.

Shulamith’s words are sensual but not particularly sexual. The idea is that the fragrance of the myrrh was another rich, fragrant reminder of Solomon, who held a royal place in her nation and her heart. The sachet, worn close to the heart day and night, was a symbol of his devotion to her that was permanent and unchanging. The constant love of a spouse is like that—we close our eyes at night knowing that same head will be on the other pillow for this night and every night to come. With so many transient, untrustworthy things in this world, we hold the love of our marriage close to our heart, fragrant and precious.

Meme: We hold the love of our marriage close to our heart, fragrant and precious

Passionate About His Distinction

Finally, Shulamith is passionate about the qualities that set Solomon apart from other men. In the following verse she says, “My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blooms in the vineyards of En Gedi” (verse 14).


En Gedi lies along the western shore of the Dead Sea. Vineyards are there, but the name means “The Spring of Kid” because of the wild mountain goats nearby. Known as ibexes, these goats find their way down the mountain to the oasis of En Gedi to drink from its cool springs. The vicinity is surrounded by arid desert, and it’s also the region where David once hid in the rock caves from King Saul. So, like so much of Israel, this is an intriguing area: beauty surrounded by desolation, tranquility tinged with danger—a place where God’s hand has moved in profound ways.

In this climate and with the many watering holes all around, henna sprung up across the hillsides. It has a blue-black berry and a white flower with a sweet, clean, fragrance that lingers in the air.3 Isn’t it delightful how Solomon’s Song must be read with the five senses at full attention? Smell, taste, touch, sight, and sound are all vessels of human and godly love. Genuine love has that effect on us. Our devotion overflows through every human channel.

Archeologists have excavated shops where perfume was formulated at En Gedi.4 In these very markets, the fine henna perfume that Shulamith describes was sold. For her, of course, it’s all about Solomon, of whom all these tastes and aromatic delights are only a reminder. She seese her man as a wonderful oasis in a desert of unremarkable men.

Meme: Shulamith sees her man as a wonderful oasis in a desert of unremarkable men

For many of our single men and women, the great quest of life is that one person who stands out, that man or woman of distinction in a seemingly arid landscape of humanity. Some people say, “When you meet the right one, you’ll just know.” It sounds too trite, too Hollywood, and yet sometimes it works out like that after all. Years ago our youngest daughter, Jennifer, was getting ready to go to seminary. One of her friends from the school called her on the phone to fill her in on what to expect when she got there. She said, “Jennifer, as a female seminary student, you’re going to be in the minority up here. Let me tell you about that: The odds are good, but the goods are odd.” In her opinion, more quantity than quality. Yet Jennifer found the love of her life there.

We want to “just know.” We need love to be as clear as a bright, vivid oasis in the middle of a desert. In this day of broken relationships, we want to be rock-solid certain that we’ve found the one and only life partner that God has reserved for us. We have a full chapter on this subject a little later; for the time being, our point is that there was no doubt in Shulamith’s mind. Her man was outstanding in his field—an oasis in the desert.

If you’re married, have you recently told your partner what distinguishes him or her? You might need to give that some thought, and thank God that He found the right one for you. Then, after expressing your gratitude to Him, let your spouse know. Build up your life mate with praise. This first chapter of The Song has given us a terrific example of how a couple can creatively express their love for one another. You can only imagine how these words inflamed their mutual passion. Is there any doubt that such a loving exchange, using more contemporary terms, would do the same for you?

This article is an excerpt from What the Bible Says About Love, Marriage, and Sex by Dr. David Jeremiah.


1  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spikenard
2  G. Lloyd Carr, The Song of Solomon: An Introduction and Commentary (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1984), 84-85.
3  “Henna” http://www.tigerflag.com/madini_henna.html (accessed 13 November 2008).
4  “En Gedi,” http://www.bibleplaces.com/engedi.htm (accessed 13 November 2008).

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Creation Care

Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
Genesis 1:28

Marine litter is a huge ecological problem. Many countries’ coastlines are littered with plastic and debris, and there is an “island” of plastic more than the twice the size of Texas in the Pacific Ocean where currents have accumulated the debris. Fish become entangled in discarded fishing nets and lines, with bellies full of plastic debris they have swallowed.

Such images are in stark contrast to the pristine beauty and glory of Eden as presented in Genesis. Though mankind was given the mandate to “have dominion over” (that is, to care for) all of creation, we have not done a good job. When God’s mandates go unfulfilled on earth, God’s glory is diminished. And that mandate extends to our personal life as well. Paul writes that we belong to God and we are to glorify Him with our care and use of our body.

When you see opportunities to care for creation—nature or your own body—do so as a way of glorifying the Creator.

The creation is both a monument of God’s power, and a looking-glass in which we may see his wisdom.
Thomas Watson

Steadfast

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.
1 Corinthians 15:58

Paul’s letter to the people at Corinth was an exhortation to remain steadfast. The church in Corinth was an undisciplined church, and he was letting them know that even though the culture around them was in flux, their faith in Jesus Christ needed to remain focused and sure. It is true for us today also. How can we remain steadfast in our faith and avoid the pressures of this ever-changing world? By devoting time each day to the study of God’s Word.

As we read the Bible and immerse ourselves in God’s truth and character, our lives are changed—we become more like Him. God’s Word is a powerful litmus test for our souls and actions. As our lives center on God, giving priority to hearing His voice and reading His Word, we become bolder in sharing our faith.

Joshua had the confidence and courage to lead God’s people into the Promised Land because He believed in God’s promise and presence. We serve the same God who said: “And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed” (Deuteronomy 31:8).

You can place your steadfast trust in Him.

When we find a man meditating on the words of God, my friends, that man is full of boldness and is successful.
Dwight L. Moody

Ready and Willing

The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is long suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9

A leper approached Jesus and said, “If You are willing, You can make me clean.” Jesus touched the man, saying, “I am willing; be cleansed”—and he was healed (Mark 1:40-42).

That event is a beautiful example of the willingness of God. In fact, there are no instances of Jesus being asked to help or heal and Him answering, “I am not willing.” There is a place where the Bible says God is “not willing,” and that is 2 Peter 3:9. In writing about the timing of the Day of the Lord (the end of the age), Peter says God is waiting for all who will be saved to come to Him. He is “not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” Said another way, God is willing for any who want to be saved to come to Him (John 6:37; 7:37). The question is never whether God is willing but whether man is willing.

Have you responded to God’s willing invitation to come to Him?

God is far more willing to save sinners than sinners are to be saved.
J. C. Ryle

Treasure!

I rejoice at Your Word as one who finds great treasure.
Psalm 119:162

Earlier this year, a volunteer for a charity in Arizona was going through books donated for a sale. One was an old copy of The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. The volunteer decided the dilapidated volume wasn’t worth saving and was about to throw it away when she thumbed through it and found a hidden chamber. Someone had used a knife to cut a hole in the middle of the book. Inside was $4,000!

That’s nothing compared to the treasure you’ll find when opening the covers of the Bible. Perhaps it would help to think of it in those terms. Use your imagination to see every word of Scripture turning to gold as you read it. Think of every promise as a precious stone. See the words about Jesus in the Gospels as sparkling like diamonds. Visualize your daily Bible study time like a miser running his hands through a chest of gold.

The treasury of Scripture will enrich your mind, refocus your goals, replace your doubts, and redirect your path—but only if you read it and heed it. Start today!

To get the best use out of [the Bible] for daily life,...Give it the best and freshest, not the most tired and dull, hour of the day.
M. S. Kimber in The Sunday School World, 1893

Hello Heaven!

I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, because I know that I will soon put it aside.
2 Peter 1:13-14, NIV

Peter wrote his final letter shortly before his execution. He wasn’t discouraged; he was looking forward to the future. He spoke of “looking forward to these things.” and “[looking] for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells” (2 Peter 3:13-14).

Life is full of hardships and heaviness. We have the promises of God to help us in difficult days, and we have the Holy Spirit within us. We have a purpose for being here—to refresh the memory of others regarding the things of the Lord. But we’ll soon put aside the tent of our earthly body, and what a relief! Goodbye hardship and heaviness. Goodbye trials and troubles. Hello Jesus! Hello heaven! Hello golden streets, glorified bodies, endless days, and the fresh air of New Jerusalem!

During difficult times, the hope of eternity gives us strength. If you’re prone to worry yourself to sleep each night, turn your thoughts upward and close your eyes thinking of heaven and its eternal throne.

A tent or a cottage, why should I care? They’re building a palace for me over there.
Harriet Buell, in her hymn “A Child of the King”

Overcoming Temptation

Temptation. Whether we realize it or not, it is part of our past, and it will be part of our future. The moment we resolve to stand strong and walk away is when temptation grows most intense. That is why Scripture is of paramount importance. God's Word contains the answer to resisting temptation before it's too late. Consider these verses:

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full–grown, brings forth death (James 1:13–15).

Some people wonder about the value of the Old Testament in a Christian's life. The apostle Paul addressed that question in 1 Corinthians 10:11—"Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition." To what things was Paul referring? He listed them in verses 7–10. They are idolatry, immorality, infidelity, and disloyalty.

Temptation is not sin; yielding to temptation is.

With that background, Paul exhorted believers not to make the same choices the Israelites made—not to provoke God's discipline by willfully sinning. None of us is above God's discipline if we engage in sin. We must look for and take "the way of escape" God provides in every situation where temptation is found (verse 13). To think our temptation is unique is to believe a lie. "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man" (verse 13). There are no "new" temptations in life.

The apostle James argued that if temptation becomes serious, it is because we have allowed it to do so. Our own "desires" entice us away from God and desire "gives birth to sin" (James 1:13–15). God doesn't tempt us, but He may allow temptation to enter our lives in order to give us opportunities to make obedient and mature choices.

Jesus was tempted by Satan in the wilderness, and He took the same means of escape that is available to us—obedience to God's Word (Matthew 4:1–11; Hebrews 5:8). Temptation is not sin; yielding to temptation is. There is always a righteous choice to be made if we are willing to seek it.

Victory in Him

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 15:57

To first-century leaders in the Roman world, the imagery was familiar: A victorious Roman general returning from battle leading his soldiers and their captives into the city. Citizens lined the streets applauding while the aroma of celebratory incense filled the air. Paul uses that image to say that Christ leads His followers in a victory procession through every difficulty in life (2 Corinthians 2:14-15).

The Christian’s victory is through Christ. The victory over the world, the flesh, the devil, and sin was won by the Cross and the empty tomb. He did for us what we cannot do for ourselves. We have victory now and for eternity only because of the victory Christ won for us. Therefore, if we are to experience victory in this life, it will come only as we depend on Him. As Paul wrote in Galatians 2:20, the life we now live is the life of Christ in us as we keep our faith in Him.

If you need a victory in your life, begin every day by renewing your faith in Christ in whom all our victories are to be realized.

The spiritual battle, the loss of victory, is always in the thought-world.
Francis Schaeffer

Faithful Fathers: Abraham

And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God.
James 2:23

We can imagine a child writing an appreciative and sentimental memoir about her “perfect father,” understanding that “perfect” was not intended to be taken literally. But how about a book titled The Righteous Father? The patriarch Isaac could have written that book about his father, Abraham.

Righteous doesn’t mean sinless, of course. We know that Abraham wasn’t perfect. But he did manifest some qualities that every father should emulate. First, he believed the promises of God about the future God had planned for him (Hebrews 11:8-12). And when he believed God, “[God] accounted it to [Abraham] for righteousness” (Genesis 15:6). Again, not perfect or sinless, but in a right standing with God. Second, as a result of Abraham’s trust in God, he became a “friend of God” (Isaiah 41:8). Could any father set a more worthy example to his children or grandchildren than that of being friends with God? Living in right standing with God? That means communing with Him, walking with Him, living for Him, and above all, trusting Him and His promises.

Follow Abraham’s example as a faithful father by deepening your friendship with God.

Friendship is the marriage of affections.
Thomas Watson

Modern Idolatry

Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
Colossians 3:5

Colossians 3:1 tells us to “seek those things which are above, where Christ is.” In verse 5 we’re told to put to death the passions that come from below—"fornication, uncleanness, passion, and evil desire.” Then the Lord added the sin of greed or covetousness to the list, calling it idolatry.

That verse changes our view of idolatry. It’s not just bowing down to a small carved statue or a pagan worshiper offering incense at a shrine to Buddha. It’s the act of becoming too attached to the material things of the world—falling more in love with the things on earth than on things in heaven.

This has nothing to do with how much money you do or don’t have—a poverty-stricken person can covet just as much as a billionaire. It has everything to do with what’s at the center of our affections. Is it Christ? Is it things above? Or is it things below?

Make sure Christ is at the center of your life and that your love for Him eclipses everything else!

You don’t have to go to heathen lands today to find false gods. America is full of them…. Whatever you love more than God is your idol.
D. L. Moody

New Beginnings: Ezekiel

In my thirtieth year, in the fourth month on the fifth day, while I was among the exiles by the Kebar River, the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God.
Ezekiel 1:1, NIV

We often need fresh starts after enduring bitter disappointments. As a young man, Ezekiel had dedicated himself to be a priest. He was from a priestly family, and he undoubtedly looked forward to serving God in Jerusalem’s temple. Priests began their temple duty at the age of thirty. But when he was about twenty-five, Ezekiel was seized and taken to Babylon, and he never saw the temple again. When his thirtieth birthday came, he must have struggled with questions of “why” and “if only.”

That’s just when God appeared to him as he was among the exiles by the Kebar River. Ezekiel looked up and saw remarkable visions of God—the throne of God surrounded by angelic beings. Amid the strange and apocalyptic vision described in Ezekiel 1, God called the thirty-year-old exile to be a powerful prophet.

Oh, to see the glory of the Lord while in the midst of the disappointments in life. When we think life has collapsed around us, the God of glory appears above us. God always has a plan, and our false starts become His fresh starts.

Ezekiel is the prophet of the glory of the Lord…. Ezekiel looked beyond the sufferings of Christ to the glory that should follow.
J. Vernon McGee

The Conspicuous Hand

The Lord your God cares.
Deuteronomy 11:12

In a letter to Brigadier General Thomas Nelson, George Washington marveled at how God’s hand had protected him and given success to the cause of liberty: “The hand of Providence has been so conspicuous in all this, that he must be worse than an infidel that lacks faith, and… has not gratitude enough to acknowledge his obligations.”

In the middle of life’s battles, we’re tempted to question God’s ordering of our circumstances, but every follower of Christ can look back and see the conspicuous hand of God’s Providence. He is committed to caring for us, watching over us, and giving us strength when we are within His will.

Moses reminded the Israelites that God was taking them into a land of hills and valleys, of water and streams, “a land for which the Lord your God cares; the eyes of the Lord your God are always on it, from the beginning of the year to the very end of the year” (Deuteronomy 11:11-12).

That’s the way He cares for us too—every day, all year long, always.

[The Lord] loves, and cares, and sympathizes, and understands, and seeks, and saves, and forgives, and helps, and encourages, and walks by our side… taking care of us in life when we can’t take care of ourselves.
W. A. Criswell

God of Second Chances

Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the second time, saying, “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and preach to it the message that I tell you.”
Jonah 3:1-2

It was not uncommon in the Old Testament for “the word of the Lord” to come to God’s prophets again and again. It happened to Samuel, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Haggai, Zechariah, and others. And it also happened to Jonah: The word of the Lord came to Jonah the first time (Jonah 1:1) and then the second time (Jonah 3:1). With the other prophets, the “second time” meant additional prophetic utterances they were to deliver. But with Jonah, the “second time” was because Jonah had failed to speak God’s word the first time. Jonah was a disobedient prophet.

God commissioned Jonah to go east to Assyria, to the capital of Nineveh and deliver a message of judgment. But Jonah fled west toward Spain because he feared the Assyrians. You know the story—Jonah ended up in the sea where he was swallowed by a great fish. Jonah repented and called on the Lord and was delivered. God gave him a second chance.

Don’t let your past keep you from trusting God for a second (or third, or fourth) chance. The God of grace loves to forgive.

Forgiveness is to be set loose from sins.
G. Campbell Morgan

All You Need Is Love: Forgiveness

When Jesus saw [the friends’] faith, He said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven you.”
Mark 2:5

The hardest part of forgiving another person is acting like the offense never occurred. But that is what forgiving someone means—restoring relationships to the status they enjoyed before the offense took place. It’s one thing to say, “I forgive you,” but it’s another to act like all the effects of an offense are completely erased. After all, according to Paul in 1 Corinthians 13, love is known by its actions more than its words.

Jesus faced this dilemma when He healed a paralytic man. When He told the man that his sins were forgiven (and by extension, he was healed), He was criticized. He was accused of blaspheming by saying He had the authority to forgive sins—something only God can do. So, Jesus proved He had the authority to say, “I forgive you,” by doing something harder. He healed the man’s paralysis. After all, as Jesus explained, actions speak louder than words (Mark 2:8-11).

We cannot go through life without being hurt by others, so we should learn to forgive. Even more, we should practice demonstrating our forgiveness by our acts of lovingkindness. Look for opportunities to do both.

Forgiveness is to be set loose from sins.
G. Campbell Morgan

A Whole Person

In all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility.
Titus 2:7

In mathematics two of the basic kinds of numbers are integers and fractions: 2, 100, and 56 are integers, while ½, ¼, and 2.5 are fractions. Integers, from a Latin root meaning “whole” or “entire.” The word integrity comes from the same root; a person with integrity cannot be divided in beliefs or morality based on varying circumstances.

When the apostle Paul wrote to his young pastoral protégé, Timothy, he told him to show “integrity” in doctrine, to be incorruptible in belief and in actions. Paul wanted Timothy to hold fast to the truth of God, not allowing himself to be divided. A person of integrity obeys the whole counsel of God every day, in every circumstance. Daniel’s three friends in Babylon demonstrated integrity when they were threatened with being burned alive (Daniel 3:16-18). They told the king they would not divide their allegiance, that they would maintain their faith in God and His promises. That is integrity.

Are you a whole person or a fractioned person today? If your beliefs, and therefore your actions, have become divided, gather them back together as you commit to God and His Word.

Integrity of heart is indispensable.
John Calvin

New Earth

Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away.
Revelation 21:1

A great misconception carried by many Christians has to do with the location of heaven. The word heaven itself implies that our eternal destiny is somewhere “up there” in the heavens. But the Bible says our eternal destiny is earthly, not heavenly. As Peter wrote, we look for a “new earth in which righteousness dwells” (2 Peter 3:13).

In his vision of the future, the apostle John saw that “new heaven and a new earth,” our new domain being pictured as the New Jerusalem “coming down out of heaven from God” (Revelation 21:1-2). Somehow, at the end of the age, when Christ has returned to reign and inaugurate the eternal state, this earth will be renovated and a new earth will be the result—a new earth full of righteousness in which pain and sorrow will be absent. The beautiful imagery of the New Jerusalem in Revelation 21 lets us know that the new earth will be a place that reflects the glory of God throughout.

Jesus said He was going to prepare a place for you if you belong to Him (John 14:1-4). The New Jerusalem, on the new earth, is that place.

Let thy hope of heaven master thy fear of death.
William Gurnall

The Conspicuous Hand

The Lord your God cares.
Deuteronomy 11:12

In a letter to Brigadier General Thomas Nelson, George Washington marveled at how God’s hand had protected him and given success to the cause of liberty: “The hand of Providence has been so conspicuous in all this, that he must be worse than an infidel that lacks faith, and… has not gratitude enough to acknowledge his obligations.”

In the middle of life’s battles, we’re tempted to question God’s ordering of our circumstances, but every follower of Christ can look back and see the conspicuous hand of God’s Providence. He is committed to caring for us, watching over us, and giving us strength when we are within His will.

Moses reminded the Israelites that God was taking them into a land of hills and valleys, of water and streams, “a land for which the Lord your God cares; the eyes of the Lord your God are always on it, from the beginning of the year to the very end of the year” (Deuteronomy 11:11-12).

That’s the way He cares for us too—every day, all year long, always.

[The Lord] loves, and cares, and sympathizes, and understands, and seeks, and saves, and forgives, and helps, and encourages, and walks by our side… taking care of us in life when we can’t take care of ourselves.
W. A. Criswell

The Need for Prayer

Now it came to pass in those days that [Jesus] went out to the mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God.
Luke 6:12

Officially, church historians recognize seven ecumenical church councils held between A.D. 325 and A.D. 787. The first, the First Council of Nicaea, met to agree on the nature of Jesus of Nazareth as both Son of God and Son of Man, as both fully divine and fully human.

The humanity of Christ, while at the same time divine, is hard to understand. But thankfully, Scripture gives us illustrations: Like us, Jesus suffered, experienced hunger, required sleep, ate food, and had limits on His knowledge (Mark 13:32). One of the most striking and helpful illustrations of Jesus’ humanity was His prayer life. We might think that, if Jesus was truly divine, He would have had no need to pray for knowledge, guidance, or help. Yet He did, following the example of godly men like Daniel in Babylon (Daniel 2:16-18). Jesus repeatedly said that He only did what the Father showed Him to do (John 5:19), and prayer was His means.

If Jesus, the Son of God, needed to go to His Father in prayer for strengthening and guidance, how much more do we (Psalm 32:6)?

Prayer and a holy life are one.
E. M. Bounds

What Is Humility?

All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”
1 Peter 5:5, NIV

What is humility? Is it the opposite of pride? If pride expands one’s importance, does humility deflate one’s importance? That’s the view given by most English dictionaries—a deemphasis on one’s own importance. But what is the biblical view of humility

If someone compliments you on a job well done, do you refuse to take credit or receive their compliment? Or do you graciously say, “Thank you,” in a spirit of genuine appreciation and humility? In Romans 12:3 Paul exhorts the believers not to think of themselves pridefully but rather to think of themselves “soberly”—that is, realistically or accurately. Paul’s topic is the grace given by God to each Christian to serve in the Body of Christ. We should neither overestimate the gift of God’s grace or underestimate it. Rather, we should think of it soberly and realistically—humbly—and minister accordingly. To think less of God’s gift would be to devalue it; to think realistically about it allows one to serve humbly.

How do you view yourself? With pride? With false humility? Or soberly and realistically according to the grace of God in your life?

A really humble man…will not be thinking about humility, he will not be thinking about himself at all.
C. S. Lewis

The Power of Confession

For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was turned into the drought of summer.
Psalm 32:4

California is a dry state that needs water to be transported over many miles to population and agricultural centers. Snowfall in the winter and melting snow in the spring are critical factors in replenishing shrinking reservoirs. In periods of modern droughts, aerial photographs document the receding water levels in reservoirs around the state—shorelines growing wider and drier as water levels fall.

Such is the picture David paints with his words in Psalm 32—a drought of spiritual vitality brought on by his own sin. When he failed to confess his sin to God, his “bones grew old” and he groaned “all the day long” (verse 3). It was like his soul was being evaporated by the heat of his own guilt and shame. But then the rains of grace came and David confessed his sin and God forgave him (verse 5). And he encouraged his readers not to make the same mistake he had made (verses 9-10).

Confession and repentance reveal the access to restoration. Hiding sin does not remove it from God’s sight; but when we seek God’s forgiveness, the refreshing living water from the Father is poured out on us and we are restored—that is the power of confession.

The way to cover our sin is to uncover it by confession.
Richard Sibbes